Tuesday, December 11, 2007

On life and death...

....some of you know my story....
....some of you don't.... that's okay.

For those of you who don't, I'll give you a brief portion of my life... my testimony, if you will.

For the majority of my life, I grew up on what we (in the hood) affectionately call: Soul Food. It's delicious. It's amazing. It's fried. God bless my mom. A small southern woman with a heart of gold(en fried chicken) and a always a full pitcher of sweet tea!

She always had the best intentions of making sure that we always had a good, home-cooked meal on the table. Little did I know that my frame, body structure, and bone mass, when combined with mass quantities of food (especially that of the fried variety) would slowly (but surely) begin to kill me...

Say what!?

Yes....

My mother tried to kill me.

Certainly not intentionally.

After many years of having what some Doctors would call a "weight problem" I found myself only getting bigger and bigger.

Now don't get me wrong... I LOVE being a 'big guy'... Being naturally stronger and more intimidating is good... especially in my case, as I may or may not be what some would call 'soft.'

However, I needed to be a HEALTHY 'big guy.'

Enter a new diet plan: Stop drinking sodas.

That's right. My diet, as of November 2005 was simply the 'no-soda-pop-having-at-all-unless-it-was-a-diet-,-but-certainly-not-a-full-fat-soda' diet.

I found myself getting sicker and sicker as I moved into December of that year.

I knew it was because my body couldn't deal with my rather large hind-quarters.

Sicker.

Sicker..

Sicker...

I became.

Until Super Bowl Sunday (2006) when my family had to rush a rather unconscious 'Slim' to the ER.

I'm not sure if you know much about blood sugar, but the average person should be around 120 (give or take, of course)... 250 is not bad, but certainly not good! 350: you got some issues. 450: you need to get to the hospital. 550: you might want to consider making your peace with God.

750: You're The Slim on Super Bowl Sunday.

"You really shouldn't be alive right now."

Very comforting words from the Dr.

After clocking in between 650 and 700 lbs. at the hospital that night, I spent the week in the ICU of Lee Memorial Hospital... essentially preparing myself for kick the proverbial bucket.

Evidently, I was diabetic. Runs in my family, so I'm not sure why I was surprise by this notion.

To make matters worse, I wasn't controlling my diet AT ALL. Not that I was gorging myself, by any means... quite the opposite actually. I would 1, 2, even 3 days without eating... not really thinking or paying attention to it.

Come to find out I was living (as a 700lb. man) on a 1200 kCal diet... UNTIL I cut out sodas and dropped to (in some cases) just a few hindered calories a day. This propelled my diabetes and sickness.

In affect, going on a diet almost killed me.

For the second time in my life, I as at the receiving end of attempted murder... the weapon of choice: food.

I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes. Completely insulin dependant.

"The VERY BEST case scenario, would be that you would be on the insulin shot (5 times/day) for the next four years. If that went well, you'd move to the insulin pill for another four years." the Doctor explained later that week.

"All in all, IF YOU'RE LUCKY, you'll be spending AT LEAST the next 8 years on insulin."

"Great..." I facetiously thought...

God obviously had bigger plans for my life.

I ended up walking out of that joint after a week in Intensive Care. I walked out with a new sense of life and a new diet.

I quickly lost 150lbs. and with the weight went the diabetes.

This morning, just shy of two years later, I clocked in at 398lbs. Some would still say "Dang, you're huge." however they fail to realize I'm nearly HALF of what I once was.

Which leads me to the purpose for this blog.

I'm on a new quest (as far as my diet goes, anyway)

Now, armed with a 24-hour gym, personal trainer, and dietitian I continue to push forward to drop some 'El-Bees'.

150 to actually.

I joined www.traineo.com, an online resource that helps you track your diet, exercise, and weight. You can see my progress here:

traineo
http://theslim.traineo.com.

Please, if you would be so kind, I need all of the encouragement and motivation that I can get! Simply check in once a day, week, or even month to check on my progress. If you see that I'm not working out, or I'm eating bad, or simply not losing weight... Call me on it! Push me.

So yeah... moral of the story: Live. Don't die. And help me out.

And be careful of what you eat, as somebody may be trying to kill you with it!

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Thoughts...

...swinging soundly.
Back and forth.
Teeter.
Totter.

I have a head. It is full of thoughts. When left unattended it causes lack of sleep, lack of appetite, lack of really caring about anything.

The things that I DO care about end up flashing morbid variations and skewed versions of the reality.

I'm currently on Lunesta. It seems to be the only thing that makes me sleep. 1mg, 2mg and 3mg is how they come. 1mg is what they give the average person with a sleeping disorder. 3mg is what they give the big boys with chronic insomnia. I take 4 a night. Is it just me or is that 12x the dosage of a regular person who randomly can't sleep?

And of course, two of the top side effects are: Hallucinations and Vivid Dreams. Sometimes I can't tell the difference. Am I dreaming these crazy things? Or am I actually doing these?

Does 'Blogger' exist? Am I actually typing this right now?

Hello?

Can you hear me?

"Yes!?" my dog responds.

"Seriously, Dude... you're a dog..." I lazily retort.

"You seem to have thoughts swinging soundly. Back and forth. Teeter. Totter."

"You Sir, are quite profound. Not to mention observant." I say, still skeptical of my talking dog... "Why don't you do you any other tricks but 'sit'? I mean, other dogs do them? And why do you only chew up random crap? Do you have mange? Do you feel lonely? Do you need a friend? Do you like me and Laura?..." I seem to mutter questions without hesitation.

"Bro, you need to slow down." says my dog.

"Seriously," I think to myself "am I REALLY taking advice from my dog?"

I suppose it makes sense. I mean, if my dog can talk I figure he's got to be relatively smart.

He's cute too. And part Chow-Chow. How now brown Chow... HA. I'm funny.... and mildly alone.

And by 'mildly' I mean a lot. Lonely enough for my mind to wander... to think. And when left unattended it causes lack of sleep, lack of appetite, lack of really caring about anything.

The things that I DO care about end up flashing morbid variations and skewed versions of the reality.

I like all of you... love most. Adore only one... and she's away. She's better than cake. And MAC computers.

As a matter of fact, she's better than:
_ guitars
_ amps
_ Italian sodas
_ iron and wood 'music man' figurines
_ Leppraclaus
_ ice cream
_ Lunesta (TM, of course)
_ talking dogs
_ Mexican food
_ Chinese food
_ Italian food
_ food in general
_ weight loss
_ red wine
_ lactic acid fermentation
_ surround sound systems
_ new baby smells (not the poopy kind though..)
_ baby seals
_ mush

... and much like a 'RONCO' commercial: MUCH, MUCH MORE!

Whatever... she's not here... maybe with some Lunesta, I can at least THINK she's here...

Okaybye.

p.s.- sorry for the rant.